


curiosity.

by joohoneythighs



Series: i just (jackheon) [1]
Category: GOT7, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Daddy Kink, Discrimination, Good or Bad Ending?, High Risk Behaviour, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Invasion of Privacy, M/M, Masturbation, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexuality, Smut, Utopia?, ish (not really)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-09-30 07:11:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17219309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joohoneythighs/pseuds/joohoneythighs
Summary: Jackson jokes around, but Jooheon takes him seriously.





	1. you

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [[no title]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7485132) by [joohoneythighs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/joohoneythighs/pseuds/joohoneythighs). 



> hello again! 
> 
> this story is a remix of my previous story. i read it again and i was horrified by the grammar, storytelling and overall pace of the story. however, i noticed i remained deeply in love with to plot so, i decided to write it again two years later.
> 
> this one is pretty long and will have three parts. it took me 150 hours since november 21st to write the first part lmao hopefully it came out good
> 
>  don't forget to click the links at the beginning of the chapter to check out how the jackson and jooheon look throughout the story!
> 
> make sure to leave comments :) let me know if u liked it!!

([jackson's](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/89/84/fe/8984feb2631eaff8e5b5e19d68ece51a.jpg) look)  -   [(jooheon's look)](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c4/8e/47/c48e478753673720d238943e82cefcf8.jpg)

 

They were exhausted.

Despite today being free from singing practices, broadcast rehearsals and endless dance routines, the constant scrutiny of the cameras and numerous staff members following them around all day took a great toll on their bodies. Not to mention the 20 minutes stair climb Jackson decided to take out of the blue to Jooheon’s despair. After all, both knew (but didn’t want to admit) a day without any too demanding schedules wasn’t a rest day. Anyhow, Jooheon was able to avoid bungee jumping at night and Jackson made it through his impromptu workout carrying a younger male that was much heavier than he expected and a leather duffle bag containing three hundred different things.

They managed to gulp down a generous bowl of noodles in black bean sauce each at a shop down the hill. The older male was tempted to order another one since his hunger saw no end despite the generous meal they had earlier in the evening. Jooheon had to drag him out of the cramped restaurant as the night was well aged and they had to get to the dorms as quickly as possible. Past 11PM, he’ll have to make up a good excuse since the filming finished more than an hour ago. They got out and caught the first taxi they could find. Here they go, they’ll reach Starship Entertainment, which was the farthest, in 45 minutes.

The taxi ride was mostly quiet. Both were submerged in the scenery around them. The city lights were vibrant and flamboyant. Seoul was well alive; many individuals were walking the streets, eating, hanging out, getting ready to hit the club, etc. Girls were well dressed in tight clothing and chic makeup, while guys were laid back with neat hairstyles and a mostly dark attire. Boyfriends and girlfriends were out there living their lives. Jooheon stared at them, not with jealousy, but with admiration. A part at the back of his head wanted to be with them outside. Nonetheless, he was fine where he was. He threw a gaze at Jackson sitting next to him and noticed he was doing the same thing: staring out the window. He let out a short sigh before feeling his body slowly falling asleep. A little nap won’t hurt and since they still have a long way to go before arriving to Starship. He leaned against the window to make it more comfortable.

“Jooheon-ah.”

Jackson’s deep tone rang across the quiet taxi. It drew the younger male out of his lethargic state as he wasn’t expecting to hear his name from the older male. He hummed as a response, his eyes closed and his head still leaning against the window. To Jooheon’s surprise, the older male leaned against him, making sure his whispered words reached his ear. 

“Let’s spend the night together.”

A strong shiver ran down his spine as it took 5 extra seconds for Jackson’s words to be processed by Jooheon’s head. The sentence bounced in his head again and again, trying to come up with the most logical explanation.

“If it’s a joke, it’s not amusing at all. However, I’ll let it slide because you’re probably tired,” Jooheon said as a smile appeared on his lips, letting a chuckle. There’s no way Jackson was serious on this one. He was used to the older male saying all types of nonsense, but this was new. However, he decided tonight wasn’t the right moment to deal with it. He was exhausted and all he thought about was his warm and cozy bed. He went back to his nap and was sure they’ll both pretend this never happened.

He let out another sigh before closing his eyes again to sleep. This time, it came harder than before as if he washed his face with cold water. He felt wide awake. After a few minutes on trying to force sleep on himself, he gave in to the fact he’ll have to go through the rest of the ride awake.

Leaving his warmed-up window corner, he threw a glance at Jackson. To his surprise, the other man was staring at him. His look was so intense, Jooheon felt he was examining every detail in the depth of his eyes. The atmosphere in the taxi shifted abruptly, making the enclosure of the taxi feel even smaller than it already was. Jackson’s expression was vivid and intimidating, but hard to read at the same time. He felt like a prey victim of a predator with Jackson’s dark eyes travelling across his features in a suggestive manner. The words Jackson said earlier came crashing in his head at full speed, making the pressure in the taxi go up. To alleviate the growing confusion, Jooheon cracked his window a tad open. However, the cold breeze did little to cool his burning up skin.

There was no way around it; there was real intent coming from Jackson. He could sense it; he could feel it even if they were both surrounded by darkness.

“Wait, you were serious about what you said?” Jooheon asked even more confused and slightly embarrassed by the rosy tint gradually staining his cheeks. He could only tell by the rise of his body temperature, glad there wasn’t enough light for the other male to see.

A shiver ran down his spine at the thought of what Jackson was proposing. Never (and it was normal) did he think about being under him. Which made it worse was the fact the request came from Jackson himself. He wasn’t going to deny the older male often showed off his body to him in a friendly manner. Like his muscled arms after a workout or when Jackson was finally able to tone his abs enough to his own liking, Jooheon was the first to know about it. Jackson was far from being shy around Jooheon no matter what. Even if Jooheon was more self-conscious than Jackson ever was, the feeling was mutual. However, it was never more than that. Naturally, hearing such a request from Jackson surprised him to no end.

“Jackson, I don’t want you to misunderstand, but,” Jooheon said in a low voice as he noticed the taxi driver was keeping an eye on them. As he started talking, he noticed Jackson’s gaze diverted to his lips with the unchanging intensity. Never in his life he thought he’d want to hide his lips, but today, at this exact moment, he wanted to. He continued carefully, making sure the taxi driver wasn’t able to hear, “it would be best if we don’t do… that. Let’s go home and get some rest, I’m sure you’re exhausted too.”

At his words, Jackson cracked a smile to Jooheon’s surprise and honest relief. He was finally showcasing a demeanor more familiar to the younger male. However, his smile grew wider every second. He reached for his phone in his pocket, quickly dialing a number that he seemed accustomed to. Jooheon kept all his attention on him, wondering what his next move will be. After long seconds, Jackson spoke up.

“You lost,” Jackson said, amusement tainting his tone. “We said fifty thousand won right?” He laughs some more, “I’ll collect it as soon as I get home.” He, then, hung up as quickly as he picked up the phone.

Jooheon’s skin burned up in a flaming tint of pink as he understood the situation. He parted his lips to talk, but his voice wouldn’t come out. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how to defend himself. Despite it being a joke Jooheon could’ve easily brushed off, he felt somehow exposed. His blood started to boil, Jackson’s explanation better be up to par.

“So, you mean,” Jooheon in the calmest tone possible even if his hands were clutched together, his eyes closed to compose himself. “You made a bet with someone about… uhm… me?” He finally threw a gaze at Jackson, his eyes tainted with utter confusion. “I don’t understand, you weren’t serious about this?”

Jackson, at the younger male’s words, mirrored his confused demeanor. “Of course, I wasn’t serious.” He made it sound so normal as if he didn’t throw the hungriest look at the younger male a few moments ago. “Jooheon-ah, you really thought I’d sleep with you?” Jackson asked, raising one of his eyebrows. At his question, Jooheon frowned in confusion, anger and irritation. There was no way Jackson was genuine about this. To make up for his sudden frivolities and his own damaged ego, Jooheon spontaneously answered. “You really mean you wouldn’t?”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the taxi ride was surprisingly quiet. Jooheon couldn’t help but to feel nervous to what was about to happen. He doubted he’d be able to measure up to Jackson whom he perceived as an experienced individual. He had that ability to charm anyone in any situation. Like a magnet, everyone he gets in contact with is attracted to his energy and friendly demeanor. He never got the chance to ask him about it, so, Jooheon made a wild guess that Jackson had many girlfriends and (surely) boyfriends in the past. Unlike himself.

To Jooheon’s dismay, the taxi driver was able to pick up parts of the previous conversation and understood the situation. Nonetheless, the two young males’ intentions were clear. From going back to their agencies in Gangnam to then take a detour to a modest hotel in the outskirts of the urban area of the city, the change of destination clearly showed how their night was going to end. Jooheon felt how the air shifted when Jackson asked for the detour. The aged man became impatient and annoyed. He took many shortcuts to avoid heavy traffic and drove a little above the speed limit. All of this without speaking a word. Sadly, the younger male knew exactly why he was behaving like this. Unlike Jooheon, Jackson cared less. All he wanted was to get there as soon as possible and avoid troubles. The possibility of the driver identifying both males as idols was low anyway. Jackson had his baseball cap hanging low over his face, he was sure no one would even recognize him. For his part, Jooheon had orange hair and heavy eye-makeup filled with warm brown and orange hues. However, the entire cab was submerged in darkness and his hair was hidden under the generous hood of his coat.  Hopefully, they won’t wake up to the news of a scandal tomorrow morning.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally reached the hotel. It was almost half past midnight.

“Thank you for the ride! How much will it be?” Jackson said, smiling widely, as he took out his wallet from his leather duffle bag. “I’m sorry for the detour, I hope it didn’t bother too mu-” Before he could even finish his sentence, the well-aged man spat venom in their direction with his voice, exasperation tainting his tone.

“Get out of my cab!”

Jooheon took it as an ultimate warning and didn’t waste any time to unlock his door to exit the car. In the hopes the older male followed his doing, Jooheon cracked the car door open. However, Jackson froze at the man’s response.

“What’s wrong? What did we do? I’m just trying to pay,” Jackson questioned the man whom was avoiding his gaze. Rather than shock, anger rose in him as he was clueless to the nature of the man’s aggressivity.

“Forget about the money, get out of my car!” The old man repeated, this time louder and in a threatening manner, “get out before I call the police!” This time, Jackson didn’t bother arguing and exited the car, following Jooheon who was already out of the cab. The old man drove off at a blazing speed and vanished in the dark streets within seconds. 

Without wasting any time, they both made their way to the self-service check-in monitor inside the lobby. Luckily, Jackson took the care to choose a hotel with a self-service check-in system. It’d reduce the chances of running into potential fans in the middle of the night. Hopefully, they won’t wake up to the news of a scandal tomorrow morning.

Jackson typed quickly on the machine, paid cash and booked themselves a suite in a modest, but polished hotel. The suite he booked was rather large and had a wide window peeking on the many night lights of the city. Decorations were simple, but somehow lavish. There was only a king-sized bed in front of the window, giving a gorgeous view to the nearby buildings.

They both took off their shoes to leave them in the hall. Free of bags, Jooheon was the first one to make his way inside the suite. He stripped his bulky jacket off and walked around the suite, looking for a hook to hang his jacket. Before Jooheon could even reach the other side of the room, he felt the loose clamp of Jackson’s hands on his hips, along with his heated breath in the crook of his neck. He almost jumped in surprise as he wasn’t expecting them to start so soon. The strong scent radiating from Jackson’s body invaded his senses. Woody with notes of blackberry, his aroma made Jooheon sultry. He couldn’t tell if Jackson’s move was calculated or not, but, due to him leaning his body weight on him, Jooheon ended up sandwiched between Jackson and the closest wall.

“Jackson,” Jooheon said as he felt Jackson’s large hands get under his shirt and run cold against his stomach. “I need to shower first; do you think you can wait?” Jooheon couldn’t help but be relieved when Jackson nodded, letting go of him. Of course, he could wait. Patience was something he learned well during his training years, and today was no different. Instead, Jackson reached out for his duffle bag.

“Here’s some clothes I bought before the filming, you can have them,” Jackson said, handing the luxury brand shopping bag to the younger male. Jooheon took it and went to the private washroom, promising Jackson it won’t take too long. In the meantime, he flung his coat on an armchair and threw himself on the king-sized bed.

 

* * *

 

 

Jooheon exited the shower fully clothed to find Jackson sitting at the edge of the bed lost in his thoughts. He was so concentrated on the many items of his bag that he didn’t notice the younger male getting on the bed to kneel behind him. Jooheon’s damp and soft hands against the exposed skin of Jackson’s shoulders brought his attention out his item-sorting. He pushed his belongings to the side as he felt the younger male massaging his neck muscles. Finally, the stress from the filming and dance practices from the last few days was leaving his body. Jackson was used to tensed muscles. Matter of fact, he managed to do anything despite stiffness. However, it’ll be impossible for him to function now that his back was free of muscle knots. There it is, an excuse to see Jooheon more often.

He had to admit, Jooheon was pretty good at this.

“Jooheon-ah, who thought you how to massage like that?” Jackson asked out of the blue. “It’s Shownu,” Jooheon said as his hands travelled to Jackson’s deltoids, still pressing his skin in a delicate manner “he thought me a little and I practice on him and Wonho since they workout the most.” Jackson nodded to this answer. Shownu was much more muscular than him, so, muscles were easier to see.  On top of that, he was an incredible teacher. He had patience, explained well and was able make everything and anything accessible for the members. It’s no surprise why he was chosen as the leader. Even Jackson couldn’t deny it.

“You should open a salon or something, you’d be very successful,” the older male said with a laugh, twisting his torso to shoot Jooheon a grin. And he meant it; Jooheon’s soft and cute looks offering massages would be killer with young and old individuals. Yet, his response went unnoticed by Jackson as something else vividly caught his attention.

“You didn’t take off your makeup?” he asked, confused. Jooheon went in for a shower earlier; his skin was soft and clean. Also, Jackson could smell his floral yet masculine fragrance all over his body. He even put fresh clothes on. Jooheon looked great in his white oversized long sleeve t-shirt and gray shorts. Nonetheless, Jackson was baffled, his face remained untouched. The eyeshadow still framed his slender eyes and his lips were rosy exactly how they were before he got under the running hot water.

“I feel pretty with the eyeshadow,” Jooheon admitted, “and I wanted to keep it on for tonight.”

Jackson was a little saddened by his words. Last thing Jackson wanted Jooheon to believe was he needed to look a certain way for the older male to cherish him. 

It’s true Jooheon was pretty with the eye shadow. The makeup girls made him wear a lot of eye shadow sometimes, but it always came out great. One time, Jooheon looked bold and fierce and another time, he manages to look soft and charming. Never too feminine nor not masculine enough, it was always just right to enhance the great features he already had. Jackson loved it when he had bold makeup, it suited him very well, just like what he has on right now. The hues over his lids complemented his fiery hair color, a muted orange with subtle peachy highlights. Also, his elongated eyes stood out with the light-colored contacts and his flushed lips were still glossy. Despite the casual way he was dressed, Jooheon was alluring tonight and Jackson couldn’t take his eyes off him.

Nonetheless, Jackson had to admit, Jooheon looked great without the eye shadow as well. The younger male had sharp eyes, but soft features to balance. His cheeks were generous and decorated with dimples. His heart-shaped lips were plump and tinted with a dainty pink, which looked better when he smiled. Not to forget, Jooheon had one of the greatest skin Jackson has ever seen. Also, it was pimple-free, smooth and even, just like a baby. Without the makeup, Jooheon looked adorable and Jackson couldn’t resist him at all.

Jooheon bit his bottom lip at his own honesty. The fact Jackson was unresponsive to his words made him worry. What if Jackson thought the makeup didn’t suit him at all? The younger male’s lips slightly parted, but he couldn’t find anything to say. The older male, for his part, pushed his bag to the side leaving him enough space to get completely on the bed to face Jooheon. The familiar amber scent coming from Jackson invaded Jooheon’s nostrils as he leaned closer to him. His hands travelled to his waist and hips, holding him a tad tighter than he did earlier. Before Jooheon could acknowledge how his heart was ready to jump out of his chest, Jackson’s lips were on his.


	2. you deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey it's me again! this second part is taking much more time to write than planned, so i'll be splitting it in two so you don't have to wait too long hiihi
> 
> i hope you'll enjoy it! <3 
> 
> also don't forget check out the links at the beginning of the chapters to have an idea of what jackson and jooheon look like! 
> 
> thank you for your patience <3<3

([jackson's](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/89/84/fe/8984feb2631eaff8e5b5e19d68ece51a.jpg) look) - [(jooheon's look)](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c4/8e/47/c48e478753673720d238943e82cefcf8.jpg) + [(with a little of imagination, this is the look we are going for)](https://66.media.tumblr.com/5415ca4f663f10164a30178d807e45b3/tumblr_ombn03q8ol1u5ikz6o1_1280.jpg)

 

They kissed for minutes, or even hours already. Both couldn’t tell.

Jackson, at the edge of the bed, held the younger male in such delicate manner. His grip was tight, but gentle at the same time. He held him like he held no one else before; he held him like the most precious thing in the world. Jooheon could sense it. He enjoyed being cherished by Jackson even in a simple manner. Such as the sayings of the other members of his group, Jooheon loved being loved. He fed off the overwhelming affection and attention other people directed at him. He felt at peace and content with himself when he was showered with tenderness. However, it was sometimes scary. After all, love and admiration came with responsibilities. He hated to admit how the constant fear of not being good enough haunted him. He was afraid of the distant look of disappointment in his peers’ eyes and couldn’t help it no matter what.

The heavy thud of Jackson’s leather jacket hitting the ground brought him out of his incessant train of thoughts. Lucky for him, he went back to savor the warmth he shared with the older male.

They were surrounded in a darkness similar to the one in the cab: an intimate shade of black with a mild luminescence coming from a close lamp. The generous window peeked to distant city lights, indicating a vibrant night life. The whole scenery mainly consisted of clusters of quiet and resting neighborhoods. Despite the fact it was nearly impossible, they both had a vague sense of privacy; a mere illusion their lifestyles denied them access to. Jooheon thought, having all the world’s eyes on himself at every instant was a rather demanding task, but having only one’s eyes on himself was intimidating as well. This meant, he had the space and opportunity to reveal himself in manners he desired without any boundaries. Jackson was aware and understood of that vivid fear of vulnerability. It was something they all had in common to a certain extent.

“Hyung, the curtains,” Jooheon managed to break the silence briefly, breathless. His words brought attention on a matter Jackson forgot about. He nodded as he already knew what to do. For a mere instant, the older male got a closer look to the exterior before sliding the thick layers of fabric close. He was relieved to see no one lingering by the hotel’s entrance and around it. The vague feeling of privacy vanished, both males were isolated. Jackson wasted no time going back to the younger male that was longing for him. Their kiss continued, but deeper than before.

Jooheon laid on his back with Jackson over him, their lips still connected and Jooheon’s arms laced around his neck. Both of their skins were burning up as the kiss got more intense. Now that his leather jacket was out of the way, he was able to trace the form of Jackson’s flexed back muscles with his fingertips though his thin t-shirt. He didn’t shy away from letting his hands explore the older male’s upper body, from his forearms all the way to his toned abdomen. His cold and hard flesh felt good against his hands. Jooheon knew Jackson worked out on the regular, he saw his naked upper half on multiple occasions already. However, having a pair of arms as strong as Jackson’s lusting after him was another thing. Jackson noticed the particular attention Jooheon gave to his muscled midsection. Breaking of the kiss once again long enough for both to catch their breaths, Jackson took off his shirt and tossed it to the side. Putting an end to his anticipation, Jooheon could admire him in his (almost) full glory; his shoulders were bulky and wide; his abs were well defined and his skin glossy from light perspiration.

This time, Jackson attacked his neck, guzzling on Jooheon’s most sensitive skin. The move took Jooheon by surprise as he bit back an unexpected moan. He didn’t understand what the older male was doing to him, but it was working. Jooheon caught himself yearning for every of Jackson’s kisses and craving his embraces. He felt embarrassed asking more of the older male just yet as he want to avoid entitlement over Jackson’s affections. Instead, his fingertips kept running up and down his body, letting Jackson know his ministrations were pleasant.

Jackson enjoyed their simple and blazing encounter as well. Their kiss turned out to be much more intimate that he expected to be. The heat of the younger male radiated against him, overloading him with a crave he never felt before. Just like earlier, he wanted to take him all in one go, but he swore to himself, before engaging with the younger male, he’ll make it last as long as possible. Jackson took his time; he took his time to experiment with Jooheon’s flesh. Slowly but surely, he discovered the most sensible part of his neck. Giving it a gentle suck, Jackson earned from Jooheon a muffled moan against the sleeve of his shirt. Satisfied with his doing, he broke the kiss once more, letting his body hover over the younger male’s and his fingers go to his hips, sliding the loose pair of shorts off Jooheon and revealing his naked lower body. He did the same for himself; Jackson’s belt and pair of jeans were on the floor in less than a second. He got back on the bed, his members all around the younger male’s body.

“Jooheon-ah,” Jackson murmured to his ear as he noted how Jooheon kept tugging on the hem of his long-sleeved top. However, the stretched fabric did little to cover a lot of his thighs. His display of shyness was indeed subtle, in the hopes of his doings going unseen; Jackson couldn’t let it go. “Jooheon-ah,” he repeated, letting his heated breath brush against the younger male’s neck. This time, Jackson’s words failed to cause an echo in the room. He spoke so low, making sure Jooheon was the only one hearing his words despite the fact they seemed to be the sole occupants of the third floor of the hotel. Having full attention from Jooheon, he continued, “You know, you’re beautiful without the makeup too.” Jackson leaned up, so their gazes could meet. His eyes met with gauzy confusion in the younger male’s eyes. Lips apart, Jooheon remained silent, but was receptive to his words. Indeed, his dominant hand was now gripping on Jackson’s forearm. “You really are,” the older male added, letting his thumb stroke the flushed skin of his cheek. “Tonight, you don’t have to think about anything. I’ll take care of you,” Jooheon nodded, entrusting himself to the older male.

Jackson reached for the younger male’s top and stripped him naked, revealing his hidden skin. Just like the flush over his face, his whole body was tainted by a soft pink. Seeing Jooheon’s uncovered body for the first time, the older man’s heart bolted at its sight; his curiosity was fulfilled. The older male lapsed in drunkenness over the entire sight of him.

Jooheon had full thighs which pleased him to no end. Nevertheless, over the last few months, Jackson was aware of the pressure Jooheon was under for his appearance. It wasn’t uncommon for any of his fellow peers nor Jackson’s; harsh criticism was a staple in day-to-day life. Thus, not fitting in standards didn’t make it any better. This meant their looks changed often; it went from a new attire and a bright hair color to physical modifications of varying degrees. For his part, the younger male shed a lot of weight as the promotions for his band streamed one after the other. Nonetheless, his youthful features remained, and his leaner body retained some of its ample curves. Indeed, the older male could observe them now that he saw Jooheon free of loose clothing for the first time: the younger male’s back was split by a shy arch causing his lower body to flare out. It flared out to miles of doughy skin, especially his thighs. He sensed Jackson’s gaze all over him, burning every part of himself with an intense greed, a feeling they both shared at this exact moment. Jooheon slightly folded his limbs over himself to diminish his bare frame, clueless to the older male’s judgment of him.

It was impressive how Jooheon’s current demeanor contrasted with the one he usually showcased. Most were accustomed to his brash and bright attitude which never failed to lighten every room he walked into. Now, the younger male seemed timid, at least, to Jackson. It complimented his adorable looks; the older male would the last to complain about it.

“Jooheon-ah,” Jackson traced Jooheon’s lips as he questioned, “where do you want me to touch you first?” He blinked many times as he wasn’t expecting his question. However, Jooheon had no intentions to voice his answer; he’d rather have his body do the talking. His head turned to the side, avoiding Jackson’s gaze, Jooheon slowly folded his knees one at the time under Jackson’s stomach, letting the skin of his thighs rub together. He hoped it would be a signal strong enough for the older male to catch on and it was. Jackson knew exactly what he needed to do.

“Where do you want me to touch you first Jooheon-ah?” Jackson asked him again, this time, his fingertips patting the widest part of his hips, teasing him to what he really wanted. Jooheon let out a groan, frowning to the older male’s question. He couldn’t believe Jackson insisted on getting a vocal answer out of him. Despite his embarrassment and the crimson skin all over his face, he managed to get out a timid “here,” while his hand brushed over his own lap.

“Good boy,” Jackson said as he cracked a smile of triumph, his fingers now massaging his thighs. He wasted no time taking the younger male in his palm, stroking him at a slow pace up and down. Jooheon shocked himself with a moan, surprisingly high-pitched, at the contact. Jackson expected a lower tone from the younger male, but it matched him well, nonetheless. Still covering his mouth with the back of his palm, Jooheon let his free fingers make their way to Jackson’s hand; their fingertips lacing together without hesitation.

The older male’s rhythm was slow and careful, almost torturous; he made sure to not go all the way just yet. Jooheon’s grip on his hand tightened at every stroke, in contrast with Jackson’s torpid doings. The room was filled with Jooheon’s soft moans. “Jooheon-ah, do you,” Jackson spoke again before taking a short pause, making sure the attention of the younger male was on him. “Do you do this by yourself sometimes?” the older male asked him, squeezing the base of Jooheon’s length, emphasizing what he meant. This time, the younger male wanted to hide himself completely in the generous bedding. His nails poking in Jackson’s skin, Jooheon slightly nodded, but nothing more. _When the members are away,_ Jooheon could’ve elaborated. Indeed, living with six other men often made it difficult for any private time. They were always running to a schedule, rehearsing one of their dance routines, recording songs, etc. They barely had any time to sleep properly; the car and waiting rooms became ideal places to nap when the night before had been too short. This also meant they were always together, especially during comeback season. Since Changkyun and him were both rappers in their group, they often spend the little time they had to themselves together, working on music. Thus, the only time Jooheon spent alone was when he was in his studio on days Changkyun felt like working by himself. Which is frequent, but since that event isn’t common, private time is almost inexistent. However, it’s not absent. Of course, he couldn’t even think about having a girlfriend; it was against the rules.

Despite his speechless answer, Jackson was once again satisfied, judging from the groan escaping his mouth. He took the younger male in his mouth as he wanted to reward him for his honesty. Jooheon moaned in bliss at a feeling he almost forgot about. The fiery warmth of the older male’s mouth against his throbbing cool flesh sent shivers down his spine. He had to admit, Jackson was pretty good at this. With his fingers running through the older male’s dark hair, Jooheon felt like it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. He tried his best to gasp in air every time Jackson let go of him. However, this time, the loss lasted a little longer. Jackson shifted his position on the bed, making his leather duffle bag within arms’ reach. Shuffling through the many items, he took out a modest bottle of a sheer liquid Jooheon couldn’t decipher just yet and condoms. Jackson took advantage of that short moment to take off his lingering dark-colored underwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha another cliffhanger pls don't hate me :')
> 
> instead, leave a comment and let know if you liked it! see u soon for the final part! any of your feedback will honestly motivate me to write :')


	3. you derserve all the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this one took some time... thank you so much for waiting for me! the final part is more than 7k words long idk how that happened i hope you'll enjoy it <<3
> 
> there might be some typos. i'll fix them asap. im tired now zzzZZZZZZZZZZ

The little piece of clothing gathered on the floor with the many garments the two males were wearing earlier, showcasing the fact they both now shared the same level of exhibition. The older male was off the generous bed while Jooheon was lingering at its edge. They were both so close; at his navel’s height, Jooheon could easily observe the contrast of it against his muscles. While the older male was busy deciphering a way to discard the tight wrapping of plastic bottle of clear liquid, the younger male found his attention divert to something else. Indeed, the protuberant length of the older male was staring back at him. Impressed and intimidated, Jooheon bit his lower lip at its sight.

Impressed because of its size but intimidated by its girth. He couldn’t help but to lead his fingertips to it, letting his warm palm rest against the older male’s cool flesh. Jackson didn’t notice his awe at first as the battle opposing him to the wrap binding the bottle closed became severe; the older male was now going at the clear container with all the strength of his teeth. It was stubborn and refused intrusion, but quickly surrendered to the older male’s utter determination. It’s only then Jackson noticed Jooheon’s doings. After letting his fingers press against the older male, Jooheon leaned in to take him in his mouth. As he expected, Jackson was big.

It was daring of the younger male to attempt taking all of it in one go. Despite his minimal gag reflex, it wasn’t an easy task. Thus, Jooheon opted for, at first, a slow pace, his lips running on Jackson. He felt good on the fluttering length of the older male as he took him with such agility. Jooheon seemed to be no stranger to Jackson’s body regardless of this being their first time together. He now exuded strong confidence. The older male ran his fingers through his orange and peachy hair strands, informing him of how good he was doing. However, he didn’t expect the younger male to take such initiative. Nonetheless, he also was glad at how comfortable Jooheon got with him.

As his tedious battle with the bottle of lubricant came to an end earlier, Jackson didn't shy away from pouring a generous amount of it onto his palm. The liquid felt familiar even if he could barely recall the last time he used it with ease. The woman whose name failed to remain in his mind he had his last time with didn't enjoy the fluid. However, she, just like the younger male, did enjoyed Jackson bare. Common practice often frowned upon by many but ignored despite of the risks, Jackson felt no shame relishing his wet fingers against his length. Everybody agreed; the absence of latex made it better. 

Jooheon remained on all fours, his breathing deep and steady as an attempt to relax his body as much as possible. It wasn't a difficult task as most of his apprehension became anticipation as they made it through the night. His fingertips brushed the ivory bedsheets, reveling in their softness. Its sensation diminished his pulse, leaving him with a surprising sense of serenity. A shiver ran all across his body at the contact of Jackson's drenched fingers on one side of his hips. They seated at ease on his iliac crest, the smallest part of his torso which flared out into his generous buttocks and thighs. The older male kneeled behind him which gave him the best view and broke the silence asking Jooheon if he was ready for him. He nodded to his words, panting. He was ready and now more than ever.

He entered the younger male slowly, making sure to not ache him in any way. The pace was torturous, but necessary. Jooheon needed time to accommodate to the older male. His last time wasn't recent enough for them to go at it just yet. Despite the restraint felt amazing, Jackson made his way in centimeter by centimeter, his thumbs drawing circles on Jooheon's lower back. However, the younger male whimpered at the intrusion. His body was invaded by a dull and uncomfortable pain. To his surprise, it wasn't acute at all, but it was great enough for tears to linger in his eyes. Jackson wasn't doing anything wrong, he knew it; he just needed more time. Jooheon always had low pain tolerance and today wasn't an exception. He wasn't facing the other male, but reached out for his thigh, gripping on it loose. Alarmed at the sound coming from the other male, Jackson froze. However, he resisted pulling out as he noticed the younger male's fingers on his thigh indicating him to not do so.

"I'm okay," Jooheon panted, twisting his torso to face him. The younger male reassured Jackson and ratified his doings. He knew it was temporary. The older male couldn't help but to be tormented by the subtle sight of his wispy eyelashes huddled together because of the lingering water at the edge of his eyes. Both were tense, but Jackson assumed his duty of soothing Jooheon. After all, even if it wasn't by a lot, he was older than him.

His hands travelled up and down his lower body, caressing the younger male's skin. Their breathing levelled with each other, Jackson guiding him through each inhalation and exhalation. Jackson was still getting in centimeter by centimeter, but, this time, paused his way in every time; Jooheon took it better thanks to Jackson being circumspect. Their skins finally met as the older male seated in completely. Jooheon swore he never felt so full.

To his satisfaction, the soreness faded away, welcoming bliss; a bliss that reached beyond his previous attempts at intimacy. Causes were unknown, maybe it was Jackson's unyielding grip on his waist, or maybe the way he found his body flinching at each contact of the older male's fingertips. Nonetheless, Jooheon felt complete with Jackson and was yearning for more. His moans resonated again in the suite at the constant pressure Jackson's length swayed on his prostate. The older male, for his part, was still hesitant and his movements, shy. It didn't last long as he noticed Jooheon grinding against him. Subtle enough but the message was clear. Jackson acted with haste and sped up his rhythm.

Jooheon made no mistake, Jackson was, _without a doubt_ , good at this.

Jackson had his hands kneading his buttocks, wondering of what his doughy flesh was made of. So pliable, he could almost feel it melt between his fingers. He was so tight, it was going to be a challenge to not come early. Thanks to the light perspiration decorating Jooheon's body, his scent magnified. His fragrance almost intoxicated him. The soft and clean aroma transformed and became greedy and inviting. It drew Jackson in further and further, control slipping away and Jooheon knew; Each thrust was better than the one before. Clutching the bed sheets, he moaned loud. However, Jackson didn't keep the same and steady rhythm. Sometimes, he was slower, and sometimes, faster, switching exactly when the younger male was starting to enjoy it too much. The teasing was too much. He sighed in frustration at jolts of pleasures shooting in his entire body and weakening his arms. It took no time and half of his upper body was laying onto the generous bed. Face down on the soft pillows, he begged the older male to go faster, he couldn't take the teasing anymore. After all, he deserved it, Jackson thought, he was taking him so well.

Jooheon was such a good boy. He took Jackson so good. He adored his moans, loud and tainted with need along with the sound of their skins coming together. It sounded unholy, but Jackson couldn't get tired of it. He denied greediness but wanted to hear more. Jackson pulled out and bit his lip at the groan coming from Jooheon. The loss took him by surprise, leaving him clenching on nothing. Instead, Jackson reclined the younger male on his side onto the bed, hard grip on his knee. He seated himself over his thigh, putting the other leg over his shoulder. He teased his entrance merely, but sliding back in. The new position made it possible for Jackson to go even further in the younger male whom wasn't expecting it. It felt so good, Jooheon tried pushing his knee against his own chest. Delighted by his flexibility, Jackson thrusted in harder than he did before. At the wave, Jooheon's head fell back against the pillows. His grip on the older male's thigh and obliques was tighter than ever, even if he almost let go every time Jackson pounded in.

"Look at how good you're taking it," Jackson rasped, air fleeing out of his lungs. He was proud of the younger male and didn't shy away from letting him know. Good boy was how the older male called Jooheon when he took a thrust well. He praised him to no end, from the way his voice sounded all the way to how he clenched his eyes at every contact. Indeed, Jooheon adored being praised, he yearned for it; he yearned for it by gripping on Jackson: his forearms, thighs, abs, fingers, etc. Anywhere he could touch the other male, he did. Jooheon tried his best to glance down at Jackson's erection going in and out, but most attempts were cut by his head falling back or his eyes clenching despite him. Jackson reached out for his neck, helping him. He really wanted him to see how he vanished in and out of his own mass of soft flesh. He enjoyed the view and was pleased by Jackson's praises. In between gasps of air, moans, and whines, Jooheon thanked him in the best way he knew possible.

"Thank you senior."

Hard it was to describe best the expression Jackson had on his face. Part confusion, part excitement, the younger male knew he was spot on. He didn't fail to include the highest level of formality to his speech. Since awhile, he suspected Jackson having a thing with his voice and he was glad to not be mistaken. Indeed, irritation took over Jackson's features as Jooheon's words sank in. He reached for his knee and the other one, laying Jooheon's back completely flat against the bed. Jackson's touch changed, it was rougher and raw, an exact match to Jooheon's liking. He knew it wasn't the best way to go went it came to voice what he wanted from Jackson, but the thought of the older male making a bet about him still tormented Jooheon. He called it payback, which was beneficial to both of them. Maybe it was a little petty, but he judged it was well justified.

Jackson frowned, challenging Jooheon to repeat the words he hated to hear so much, especially from him. Jooheon bit back a grin, attempting to make it look and sound as natural as possible despite having the older male already buried deep in him. "Senior, you," he breathed hard in a pleading voice Jackson was now familiar with, "you feel so good." Jackson blinked at how talkative Jooheon was, he also noted the sudden addition of honorifics and formal pronouns. The thing is, Jooheon didn't stop there. He kept on rambling about how good his _senior_ was, how big he was, how skilled he was in a formal manner. Jackson couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't ready to admit how he adored how the formal pronouns rolled on Jooheon's tongue. He wasn't ready to admit how he enjoyed hearing Jooheon calling him senior. The most frustrating thing is how Jackson told him to avoid calling him that way when they started filming earlier today. Even if it wasn't something to be ashamed of, he was. Best thing to do now was to make the younger male stop.

His grip on Jooheon's knees was strong as he pushed them to his chest and started pounding the younger male. It was savage and out of control, this time, pinning Jooheon's wrists above his head to make sure he wouldn't be able to touch himself. It was torturous, indeed, but it felt fucking amazing. He couldn't control his voice and didn't bother muffling it anymore. The sound of their skins clapping together was filthy, but Jooheon enjoyed every second of it. Nonetheless, when he managed to catch back some the air fleeing his lungs, he kept praising his _senior_. "Right there," he pleaded, his tone laced with lust. At the infamous word, Jackson kept asking himself why he couldn't receive respect from Jooheon. They were only seven months apart, making Jackson older than him. Even if he didn't believe in such a hierarchal society, respect was the least he was asking for. Jackson stood upright, making his erection hit his prostate even better with no decrease of speed whatsoever. It was hard and angry, but Jooheon savored all of it and made sure to let Jackson know. The younger male flooded him with his words still laced with formality; "I like it so much," "you're so good at this," "yes, right here." As a final resort, Jackson muffled Jooheon's mouth with his palm, preventing any spoken words from sliding out of his lips. He tried hard to not grin at his victory over Jackson, but his eyes told no lie. He couldn't talk anymore, but his moans were strong enough to resonate in the room. The older male maintained his swift pace, making Jooheon's orgasm near. From the way he clenched without any control around Jackson and spasms making their way through his entire body, they both knew he was close. As Jackson let go of his mouth, Jooheon confirmed; he whined at his imminent orgasm.

However, Jackson pulled out, leaving Jooheon, once again, clenching around nothing. This time, he groaned loud and irritated, grinding down to find the older male's erection. To his despair, Jackson was too far for him to reach. Even when Jooheon extended his fingers out to Jackson's length, he didn't move at all. The younger male was so desperate for it, he whined louder than the first time. Jackson made it clear: he wouldn't let him come unless he managed to pronounce his entire name instead of the formal titles and honorifics Jooheon adored to use against him. The younger male didn't give it second thoughts and agreed right away. All he wanted was that Jackson finished what he started. He begged him, free of shame, "please _Jackson_ , I need it." The other male took a minute to assimilate the scene. His own name against Jooheon's tongue sounded much better than he could ever imagine. Not to forget how hungry he sounded, Jackson couldn't help but let out a raspy guttural groan of satisfaction.

Jackson leaned his back against the padded headboard, inviting Jooheon away from the edge of the bed. He understood the gesture right away and came to sit on his lap. Lacing his arms around Jackson's neck, Jooheon moaned at the older male's erection against him, begging him to put it in. Jackson obeyed at the sound of his name rolling again on the younger male's wet lips; he couldn't resist him. Both were lost into an electrifying kiss, Jackson gripping the curve of his back and letting himself enjoy the proximity of the other male. He held Jooheon down against him, preventing him from moving on his own. Instead, Jackson swayed his hips against him, attempting to find his most sensible spot. An intense whine escaped Jooheon's lips and it sounded so good right next to his ear along with his panting voice. Holding his orgasm for so long exhausted him and Jackson knew, judging from how his eyes were constantly closed and his mouth gaping.

Jooheon's breath graved the drenched skin of his neck while Jackson softened his grip on the other male's waist. He wouldn't tease Jooheon to what he craved anymore even though Jackson enjoyed how he would tremble every time he moved a little inside. Caressing Jooheon's glossy lower lip, the older male assured him he would help him come. Jooheon nodded and wasted no time moving on his own against Jackson in a haste. The sight of the younger male fucking himself was amazing. Skin to skin, he could feel the shivers running down the younger male's body; he could feel how tighter he got now that the clasp on him was gone. However, this time, the younger male didn't hold back at all. His hips rocked up and down fiercely, causing that obscene sound of their skins coming together. His whines were high, blabbering the older man’s name at the growing pression in him.

Jackson groaned at his sudden initiative, pressing hard on Jooheon’s waist. At times, he would hold it so tight the younger male couldn’t move. Bouncing himself off the mattress to reach his most sensible spot, he would earn a loud moan from the younger male. To the sound of his voice, Jackson came first and hard, his seed overflowing. The younger male adored the feeling of skin-to-skin, letting the older male fill him completely. Each pulse of Jackson inside made his entire body quaver even down to his curling toes. It didn’t take long and Jooheon came as well, warning him many times. He came all across the older male’s stomach, leaving the liquid with a little contrast against his skin. With the little strength he had left and by leaning against Jackson’s chest, he pulled Jackson out, letting the liquid gush out. He laid by the older male’s side, his fingers twirling on Jackson’s muscles and semen, enjoying the feeling of it at his fingertips.

They took the time to catch their breaths, Jackson lacing his arms around him. Jooheon still felt the climax in his entire body, panting, he slowly came back to his senses. He would still tremble when Jackson kissed and caress him all over, giving attention to every inch of his skin. His doings felt good and the younger male was able to repossess his composure.

Despite this, both of them were still energetic and craved each other. This time, they moved into the lukewarm water of the large bathtub. Their second time was slower and tender. Getting to know each other’s bodies more, they didn’t shy away from assimilating every detail, from the warm water against their skins and the way Jooheon’s pulse increased at the subtle touch of Jackson’s lips against him. Even if the bathtub was an excuse on Jooheon’s part to keep it going, they both basked in their second encounter, enjoying every second of it.

 

* * *

 

 

The morning was surprisingly quiet. Comfortable in each other embrace, both males were sleeping to the faint sound of the distant city. The gentle light entering the large window indicated it was way before noon, however, nothing else made them aware of time. The ivory duvet was warm and generous, but Jooheon felt more at ease in Jackson's arms. They were buff and his skin was velvety against his own. Even if he applied it awhile ago, his cologne remained fragrant. However, it was different than the one he wore during the night. While he liked his woody and amber scent, he enjoyed the faint fragrance he had on this morning. It had a musk and a singular floral tone. It was so mild, Jooheon thought he had to keep his nose on his chest to keep on smelling it. He wasn't complaining, he felt like it was only for him.

To his delight, Jackson woke up first and made sure to not wake up the younger male. Amazed at how peaceful he looked when he slept, Jackson let his finger run on Jooheon's puffy cheeks. He looked like a baby, Jackson thought, letting out a chuckle. Thanks to their impromptu shower, all his makeup washed away, revealing his blemish-free skin. His peachy and orange strands still humid and clumped together rested at ease on his forehead and had a great contrast on Jackson's white t-shirt. Jooheon looked great, he thought. That fragile stance he showcased arose a catering will in Jackson. Indeed, the night they had together was short, and he wanted it to last longer next time and do more. By this, he meant doing simple things such as what they were doing right now. This quiet morning wasn't appropriate to let himself fall into deep and serious thoughts, instead, he let his fingertips travel to the younger's hair, brushing into the lingering water.

Jooheon woke up not too long after at his gentle touch. Beaming a delicate smile and his tired eyes, he found himself clinging to Jackson tighter as he found the most comfort on his chest. The older male followed suit and tightened his strong arms laced around his body, drawing Jooheon even closer than before. "You slept well?" Jackson asked while laying a kiss on the other's forehead. Jooheon's cheeks burned up a shade of pink as he nodded. The sleep had been great despite the remarkable soreness travelling in his body. Jooheon swore he could lay with the older male like this for hours; talking about everything and bask in Jackson's affection. Jooheon reciprocated by kissing one of his cheek, chuckling before his lips met the other's velvet skin.

Forgetting about what they had to do and where they had to be, the two males laced each other, smiling. It was quiet for awhile, as if one of them waited for the other one to talk first. Jooheon's lips parted, maintaining his gaze on Jackson's dark irises. The older male cracked a smile at the sight of his heart-shaped lips and brought his own on them. Kissing him in a gentle manner, the younger male laced his hands around his neck, drawing him even closer. In contrast with their previous kisses, this one was romantic. Their noses brushing, their fingers fondling skin hidden by a thin layer of cotton, their pulses speeding up; themselves lost into the slow rhythm of the dawn making its way to their window.

Jackson was overwhelmed, his chest taken by a vivid warmth. Words coming out of his mouth were laced with an innocent adoration, he could not keep his hands off Jooheon's puffy cheeks, pinching them in a gentle manner. "Let's go on a real date next time," Jackson said in a serene tone, letting his fingers slide to Jooheon’s. "when our schedules match of course," he added with a laugh. It was no easy task, but he'd try his best to make it work. Also, he had no desire for a simple outing, Jackson wanted to go all out: premium beef, refined wine or some shopping at his favorite stores. The choices were endless, Jackson would comply to all his wishes; it all boiled down to what Jooheon desired the most. Simple thing, he thought as he found himself lost in Jooheon's gaze.

Speechless, Jooheon blushed at his sudden love confession, realizing himself how he fell for him awhile ago. His heart was slowly invaded with an unfamiliar fervor. However, before he could process it, the euphoria was halted by a jarring sound, the familiar ring of Jooheon's phone.

The sound instigated distress in the younger male. Indeed, it wasn't long since he obtained his phone and rare were the times he received calls. As he was running to schedules most of the time, people around him made sure to text him instead of calling. Even his manager followed this rule. The ring was also a harsh reminder of the many duties waiting for them in the unfolding day. Jooheon tried his best to ignore it, Jackson as well. One long chime and the two males didn't move, their eyes diverting to the source of the noise. The second chime seemed louder even if Jooheon's jacket was far from them. This time, Jackson stood upright, freeing Jooheon from his embrace. There was no way around it, the phone required an immediate answer.

The younger male left the warm bedding, hissing at the contact of his naked soles to the icy ground. Walking with brisk, he took his jacket in no time, lifting it from one of the wooden hooks. He reached for his inside pocket, revealing the sound of the unending rings. He glanced at it quickly at first, looking at the time. Ten to seven; his relief was short-lived as he noticed the individual causing the incoming call.

_Manager Hongsik._

He froze an instant before answering, dreading to what was waiting for him on the line. Not to forget, it was his manager's fiftieth call. For his part, Jackson's curiosity grew bigger and bigger. He noticed how Jooheon seemed stressed and became quiet. He stood at the edge of the bed in silence and anticipation. Inhaling as much air in his lungs to muster all his courage, Jooheon picked up the phone and waited for the other man's voice.

His manager screamed in panic and relief, hinting at the younger male's possible disappearance. Glad to hear Jooheon's voice, he explained how worried he was ever since he lost contact with the younger boy in the late evening yesterday. As the members and himself thought Jooheon went to the studio after the filming, they didn't make a big deal of it at first. However, the night grew old and no one saw or heard from him. This triggered terror in Hongsik, he imagined two hundred different scenarios, some even defying limits of reality. Jooheon was glad to be welcomed with his manager's worry. Although he felt bad forgetting to let his members and manager know, a vague explanation was enough to satisfy his manager's curiosity about his whereabouts. Lucky for him, his first schedule of the day was two hours away, leaving enough time for Hongsik to pick him up wherever he was. Jooheon thanked him many times before sending him his location. At the reception of the address, the two males exchanged seconds of silence on the line. He's probably looking for it on the GPS, thought Jooheon. After long seconds, Hongsik spoke again, this time with a tint of concern; he was going to reach the hotel in ten minutes, leaving just enough time for the younger male to collect his belongings.

Jackson remained on the bed, eyes on Jooheon. Judging from bits and pieces of conversation he picked up, he knew the younger male was about to leave. It was bound to happen, but he wished for another hour or two of privacy. It wasn't realistic even for himself; he had vague memories of the place he had to be maybe at this exact minute. The thought didn't scare nor alarmed him, callousness ran on his mind. This explained his nonchalant pace towards his own phone, making sure his manager called him out of concern. To his surprise, his phone history was free from calls of the said manager. Instead, Jackson was welcomed with a missed call from the head of his company himself, Park Jinyoung. Temptation was strong as Jackson wanted to listen to the message left on his voicemail right away; however, the storm would be well received only when Jooheon would be on his way home. Jackson left it on the small bedside table and made his way to the younger male dressing up at an impressive speed.

“When do you think is the next time I’ll see you?” Jackson asked, letting his body lean against the wooden frame of the modest suite lobby. His heart got quite heavy at the imminent departure of the younger male, but his voice remained soft and composed. To his question, Jooheon was unsure, many festivals were coming up which meant a lot of schedules during the day and endless rehearsals at night. Not to forget Jackson and Jooheon were often in different time zones. This also meant it increased their chances of running into each other; indeed, Jooheon reminded him they had a common award ceremony in Hong Kong soon. Being his hometown, it’d be no difficult task to make their trip last a little longer than it should, the older male thought. Grin on his rosy lips and doubt evaporated from his body, he couldn’t help but to reach for Jooheon whom was already wrapped in his bulky and cushy jacket. Jackson’s palms framed the younger male’s cheeks highlighting his dimples. Words weren’t needed, they stood there lost in each other’s gaze for a minute. They were lost for a minute before Jackson kissed him goodbye. The other man left in a hurry but smiled wide. He smiled in anticipation to the next encounter with the other male. After brief promises of a call or a text before tonight, Jackson was left with silence in the suite. For some reason, he wasn’t used to not have his boyfriend around.

Instead of letting himself consume into his own thoughts, he decided to listen the lingering voice message on his phone with neither interest nor thrill.

He was welcomed with long seconds of silence before Jinyoung’s concerned and agitated tone, which was rather unusual. “Jackson Wang? We need to talk, this is a serious matter.” The head of JYP Entertainment sounded stern as if something was bothering him. “Send me your location as soon as possible,” a deep sigh was heard, “nevermind, get out quick. Security is there and will pick you up.” Jackson got afraid at the meaning behind his message, trying to guess the cause of his director’s distress. It didn’t take long before the suite was left empty.

 

* * *

 

 

The news broke and everyone felt some way about it. Some were shocked and disgusted. Others were angry and disappointed, saying all their hard work became meaningless. Some were sad, grieving the loss of an image, a product of their minds while others worked their hardest to uncover the truth. One thing was sure, it left no one indifferent. From the older lady to the high-schooler, they all had something to say. News anchors ran with the story nonstop, fans were protesting all day and night and online forums were overflowing with opinions of diverse natures. It all came down to the tip a famous journal revealed to the public in the early hours of the morning.

_GOT7’s Chinese member Jackson Wang hired a prostitute in the skirts of Seoul._

The article featured a rather clear picture of Jackson wearing a bright and white t-shirt closing the curtains of a suite in a hotel. No one else was seen in the shot. Their claims relied on this picture as sole evidence as this hotel was known to be a discreet place for sex workers due to the fact the building wasn’t crowded. Of course, neither Jackson nor Jooheon knew about it. What the older male saw first was the convenience of the employee-less check-in.  

For some, years of hard work vanished in an instant. A well-loved persona became nothing, attaching him to rancid stereotypes and stigmas that were previously sleeping at the back of their minds. Profanities were flying all around, intoxicating the air with a poisonous smoke. The allegations were indeed scandalous, but only a minority dared to question the truth that was brought to them.

Jinyoung, head of JYP, had to take extreme measures. Reducing his activities with his group in Korea to a maximum, he tried his best to control the damage. It left Jackson with his thoughts and plenty of time to absorb various opinions thrown at him, especially coming from his supporters. Indeed, many fans from his home country called for slander and defamation and teemed Jackson with support. Some called them delusional, but they couldn’t abandon him and face these baseless accusations by himself.

Many spent considerable time trying to uncover the identity of the woman subject to Jackson’s nocturnes doings. They gave little attention to the initial presumed identity and ran with conspiracies. According to a news outlet, she was a trainee with long chocolate hair. She was also in the same company as Jackson, actively preparing for her imminent debut. For another forum, she was a girl group member junior to Jackson’s group. This seemed more plausible as that girl group in question had many promotions a day prior in the neighbouring area of the hotel. They accused her of luring Jackson with her looks into a scandal where he’d be the only one to get hurt. She was targeted with vile remarks online and as well as in real life.

Jackson didn’t grasp the idea of his world turning upside down in less than twenty-four hours. Work engulfed him and it wasn’t a bad thing. Working on his solo activities abled him to take his mind off everything for a moment. Especially when his director announced his early departure for Hong Kong. The award ceremony was ten days away, rehearsals started and setlists were already given. Jinyoung had no need to spell it out, Jackson’s participation in the event was revoked.

Less than five hours after the plane’s takeoff, he was left by himself to find his way home. The streets that were once familiar to him before seemed unclear as if they rejected the man’s presence in them. Nonetheless, his legs knew exactly where to go. With a dark mask and a cap on his head, his way wasn’t disturbed. It felt good to fade in the background, Jackson thought; a feeling he long forgot about. He reached his private studio and remained around it with some of his friends and family for the following days.    

 

* * *

 

 

Jooheon spent many nights crying.

Daily schedules were difficult, but he was able to go through them with his usual smile and beaming energy. While this façade hurt him more, he knew it was necessary. There was to need to make the present situation worse than it already was. However, he couldn’t muster the courage to reveal the reason of his sorrow to his other members right away. As soon as the whole group got home on most days, he would lock himself in his studio. Wrapping himself in his duvet, he would sob into its unbearable warmth until sleep took him away for a few hours. As his members attempted to question him many times about his sudden outbursts of sadness, he denied their concerns and assured them everything was fine. It lasted three long days. For three days, he couldn’t find the right words for Jackson. Overwhelmed in the thought of being the sole reason of the other male’s misery, Jooheon receded in silence. He assumed it would be best to not make matters worse by being one of Jackson’s peeves.

He followed the unfolding of the news by the minute every single day. He laid his eyes on all comments, all opinions and all accusations. At the revelation of Jackson’s prompt departure for Hong Kong, his heart shattered. Jooheon wasn’t expecting it at all. Nonetheless what he didn’t await was receiving the news by a text message from Jackson himself. As the two males shared silence for three days, he was glad to hear from him despite his departure. The message was short but made Jooheon a tad faithful.

_I’m leaving for Hong Kong late tonight. I’ll see you soon. 530*_

It was already late when he received the message. Past 9, most of his members were away doing their own activities. They practised singing and dancing except Hyungwon whom was already sleeping. Thus, the dorm was submerged in a singular silence, offering Jooheon some privacy. He thought it’d be a great opportunity to fix himself something to eat since his stomach had been growling violently. Swirling his chopsticks in his lukewarm meal of noodles, he failed to decipher the numbers ending Jackson’s message. Despite this, he suffocated at his throat clenching before bursting into generous tears. Once again, he was clueless to the right words to reply. His fingers let go of the phone as he hid his head onto his folded arms on the table, his tears running down and exhausting him.

Shownu was shocked at the sight of Jooheon in the kitchen, curled up against the table. Indeed, taking a short break from his rehearsal with Minhyuk and Changkyun to refill their water bottles, he thought the younger male was already in bed. He was concerned about him but didn’t know how to deal with Jooheon’s eternal denial of his help. Alarmed by his agony, Shownu made his way to him, brushing his fingertips against his shoulder. In less than an instant, Jooheon laced his arms around the buff man, hugging him with all his remaining strength. Water didn’t loiter in his eyes anymore, his cries were loud and clear, voicing his pain for the first time. The leader embraced him just as tight, providing security. No words were needed, Shownu knew Jooheon needed to be comforted in his arms.

They remained like this for minutes and minutes, time fading away as Jooheon slowly calmed down. It was still hard for him to catch his breath when he let go of Shownu. The younger male fell back to his cold chair, emptied of his energy. His lips were burning; he knew Shownu would stun him with endless questions and he wasn’t ready. Yet, his heart grew heavy every second by the concern tied in the older male’s features. Jooheon reached for the other’s hand, indicating him to sit down. After taking in a deep breath of air, he asked Shownu for guidance and uncovered all the thoughts running on his mind.

The leader was surprised at the severity of the recent events involving Jooheon but managed to converse with complete honesty. He chose his words wisely, making sure to mean every one of them. As Jooheon’s vision was blurred by confusion, Shownu was able to allow the younger male to not blame himself and forgive. His simple words instilled courage, enlightening on what his future steps should be and focusing on what was most important. Shownu never alluded ease but swore to support him in every step of the way regardless of his choices. The younger male was assured to have his confession safe with Shownu as he respected his choice to not let anyone else know, not even the manager.

At least, Jooheon _thought_ Hongsik didn’t know. Since Jooheon’s sudden disappearance, his unexpected location three days prior and the breaking news concerning Jackson, Hongsik was able to put two and two together. All he wanted was to protect Jooheon and destroy any potential ties he could have with the scandal, explaining why he rode him back home by himself and his distress over the phone. His car didn’t attract a lot of attention due to its plain design. Also, his strategy was proven to be effective since Jooheon didn’t end up plastered all over this morning’s billboards and online forums. After all, journalists were looking forward a female exiting the hotel before or after Jackson. They didn’t bother to hunt down the male that seemed to be more and more familiar with the public. Anyway, Hongsik judged Jooheon had more important matters in mind such as a schedule overseas for which his team was preparing for a long time.

Jooheon cheered up at Shownu’s words and thanked him, knowing exactly what to do. It would be a lie for him to say his heart didn’t ache but, at least, he wasn’t as afraid as he was before. His fingertips ran quickly over his phone, replying to the previous text message he received.

_Please wait for me, I’ll be there._

* * *

 

 

The ceremony in Hong Kong took place nine days later. After nearly six hours of constant filming, the closing performance ensued. The many artists present bowed, thanking the audience for their patience and attention during the broadcast. Most were looking for a way off the stage, especially Jooheon as urgent matters were awaiting him offstage. He didn’t have a second to spare. From their whole team picking up their equipment out of the artists’ rooms to his group reaching their hotel, two hours passed. It was only ten when he was able to escape his hotel room with, of course, Shownu’s approval.

He was surprised at how lively the streets were. Bars, incessant chatting and noisy cars greatly reminded him of home. The foreign language decorating all these street signs became trivial as if Jooheon could understand what was written on them. Despite the agitation around him, he could only hear his quick steps against the grey concrete and his beating heart. His fast steps leading him to the night market. He blended well with the scenery, sporting a dark-colored long sleeve t-shirt. His fiery hair tucked away under his cap, Jooheon was glad to have his cotton mask on as the air tonight was heavy with dust.

Lost in the ocean of individuals, he kept looking for a familiar face. Despite following Jackson’s message’s clear instructions: _Next to the southern entrance, around 10,_ he couldn’t find him right away. Maybe he went into the market already, or maybe he was stuck in traffic, Jooheon thought, trying his best to not imagine bad things. He held his tote bag tight; it contained Jackson’s folded clothing as he had to leave in a hurry that morning. As much as he enjoyed them, they fitted the older male better, he thought; it would be best for him to have them back.

His attention diverted to a sudden tickle on his lower back. To his delight, it was Jackson. The older male appeared with a transformed style; his bleached hair was now a deep and rich chestnut hue, complementing his deeper complexion. Even though it was hard to see since a dark cotton mask hid everything under his nose, Jooheon could see his smile; a smile he was so familiar with.

Glad of each other’s presence, the two males shared smiles, but were reticent of each other’s words. The recognizable ache swung back in his chest, pushing out all air of his lungs. “Jackson, I’m,” Jooheon painfully managed to let out. Shownu’s words of encouragement ran in his mind for days on end, however, he couldn’t push guilt completely away. His irises now filled with sorrow, Jooheon lowered his gaze to the concrete, piecing himself at his thoughts causing a commotion in his head.

Yet, Jackson reached out for his hand. His thumb running on the other male’s palm, he, with his mask down his face, showcased a warm grin. “Aren’t you hungry,” the older male asked, tugging on his arm. Indeed, he was aware of hos Jooheon felt; he knew he was overwhelmed just like he was. However, tough conversations could await tomorrow’s daylight. Never did he thought they were trivial, but, at that exact moment honoring his promise was all that mattered; a promise he made ten days ago.

 

 

*530 means 'i miss you' when texting in chinese, look it up [here](http://blog.tutorming.com/expats/how-to-say-i-love-you-in-chinese-actually) ! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 42000 minutes of editing, 12k words and 75 days later, here you have the final version of the rewrite.
> 
> i hope it didn't bore you haha PLEASEEEE let me know what you thought about it!! <<3
> 
>  
> 
> a lil rambling:
> 
> my writer's block was very bad when i wrote the final part. i was able to meditate and reflect a lot about what i was writing. if you're a monbebe, you might (or might not) notice how jooheon is often associated with the "self-esteem issues" tag here on ao3. as i'm a 2015 fan and i have been following mx closely for a long time (i know it's not a valid argument but hear me out haha), i could list instances that support why that exists. while i'm well aware my story is a perpetrator of "jooheon isn't confident/jooheon has self-esteem issues", i'd like to know how y'all (especially jooheon stans) feel about it.
> 
> also I’d like to write more jackheon so if you have a suggestion/request, let me know!!
> 
>  
> 
> if you got here, leave me a comment!! i always enjoy reading them <3


End file.
